Cosmic Condom

Scientists have determined with absolute precision that our universe was born on Sunday, February 14th, exactly 13.876786746 billion years ago. (More on that later.) This birth and evolution is always illustrated in a graphic that looks a lot like a condom. This is not a coincidence. Clearly, scientists have unwittingly revealed themselves as beneficiaries of Freudian analysis.

This finding holds in another important respect. Life is not perfect, the universe is full of contradictions and fallibilities. As evidenced by the simple fact that you're reading this now, the condom failed to do its job. In the meantime, I'll stick with religion until the scientists get their act together.

One important era left out of the above illustration is the Age of Aquarius, the era now dawning upon us. February 14th also happens to be Valentine's Day. Of course, scientists cannot include astrological references in any serious discussion, but as mentioned above, they have a lot of other problems they won't admit to, either.

You are fluke of the universe